Last week, we wrote here about the need for lgbt couples to secure marriage-like legal documentation—advanced healthcare directives, living wills and power of attorney—to protect them in cases of illness and emergency. Today, Washington Blade contributor Rebecca Armendariz penned, “Losing the Love of My Life: There is nothing more painful than the death of a partner—except being denied hospital visitation.”
Rebecca is a straight ally who recently lost her partner, Clark, to melanoma. For the 16 months that Clark was sick, Rebecca was constantly by his side. And in those 16 months, not one doctor or nurse or hospital orderly denied Rebecca access to her dying partner, despite their status as an unmarried couple. Rebecca and Clark notably did not possess healthcare directives or power of attorney.
For those of us who have never experienced such a tragedy, it is impossible to know the pain and heartbreak of losing the one you love the most. But, Rebecca says, it “would have been exponentially more difficult if we were a same-sex couple.”
Case in point: When Lisa Pond collapsed from an aneurysm, the Florida hospital where she was admitted allowed Pond’s three children and her partner of 18 years, Janice Langbehn, five minutes to visit just before she died. Five minutes. After 18 years together, the couple had just five minutes to say goodbye.
Lambda Legal has since taken the Langbehn case, which seeks to establish much-needed precedent for hospital visitation issues among unmarried couples—couples like Lisa and Janice and like Rebecca and Clark.
Stories like these make it clear that the Marriage Equality Movement is not just about marriage. No doubt Lisa and Janice felt themselves married—we do not need the government to sanction our relationships. But the need for marriage equality is so much more dire than the right to shout our love from the rooftops or even to save some money on our taxes. Marriage is a human right, one that guarantees that every person is allowed to care, and be cared for by, another. Nobody wants to die alone. And nobody should have to.
